What’s going on with me??

Hello my lovelies 🙂 I’ve been away from my blog and I really miss it!!  A lot of things have been going on with me and I’ll share.  This post will be very personal so if you’re expecting a product review I’m so sorry.

Like I’ve said before this is my personal blog and I need to let out my feelings and thoughts.  I feel like my blog helps me and is therapeutic.  So first things first the main thing I’ve been doing lately is…

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Another semester of college has started again and hopefully this will be my last and then I’ll transfer to a University.  One of the main things that has been on my mind lately is my brother.

My Little Brother is Getting Heart Surgery

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My little brother who is 18 has to get open heart surgery.  I know wtf it’s crazy and he is so young.  He has a deformed valve and they’ve been monitoring it for a couple of years and it’s getting worse.  He also is super healthy and works out almost everyday.  He has to get his heart valve replaced with a mechanical one and he doesn’t seem to be really worried.  But I AM!!  I basically raised him when he was little because my parents were busy working a lot.  So to me he is like my child/brother/best friend.  It will be really hard for him to go through this because they have to saw his rib cage and open it to perform surgery.  The good thing is that we have the top best doctors here in Houston to perform this surgery so that is a big relief.  He will get surgery very soon and I hope everything goes smoothly and he recovers fast.

New Relationship Comes to an End

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A anonymous person on my ask.fm asked me if I had a boyfriend and I’m not going to lie I…did.  It was a new relationship that started and I didn’t feel the need to post it on my blog because I wasn’t sure where it was going.  I have really good luck of love finding me but not the other way around.  He was a nice guy but too pushy, plus I thought I was ready for a relationship.  Since my last relationship ended badly, I thought ok I’m ready to start over.  But you don’t really know until it actually happens, and everything happened soo fast!!  Too fast for me!!  It really freaked me out, I told him to slow things down because things were going to fast for me and he didn’t.  He fell in love with me soo quick, and from my past experiences I’m not going to lead someone on when I don’t feel the same thing they do for me.  I had to end it I wasn’t in love with him like he was in love with me.  I also wasn’t going to hide how I felt so I was honest with him and told him how I felt.

I’m also very different as in I kind of have a mindset of a dude hahaha.  I know it’s weird but I don’t like cuddling or holding hands all the time, I don’t feel the need to text my boyfriend every freakin hour, or to see my boyfriend every single freakin day!!  That’s not me I’m a very chill person and if a person keeps doing those things to me I feel suffocated.  That’s how I felt and I didn’t like it AT ALL even though I told him to chill.  I wonder if those things have anything to do with me being a Gemini??  Guess what??  My friend was on a dating chat app just because she heard funny things from her friend and she found him on there!!  So I guess he’s back on the prowl…idk but I think it’s kind of desperate how much he wants to be in a relationship.

Still Being Trapped at Home

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I’m Mexican American and my parents are VERY old fashioned and have a different mindset than I do.  In our culture we’ll move out when we are married and can do whatever we want after we get married.  Marriage doesn’t even cross my mind at all!!  I’m still trying to focus on myself and get my shit together before I even invest in a marriage and all that.  I still live at home and I’m getting really really tired of it.  Since I live at home I still have “rules” to follow and you know sometimes you just want to go somewhere with your friends and spend a weekend away.  Seriously that is impossible and I’m getting really tired of it.  I’m not bad I don’t do drugs, haven’t gotten arrested, and do bad things.  Yet, I still get punished for stupid little things as if I were 12 years old.  I’m an adult and I’m not treated like one.  They don’t hear me out when I speak to them, they ignore me and say “oh you’re being disrespectful” umm hello I’m just trying to talk to you I’m not being disrespectful and screaming at you??  It’s impossible for me to defend and stand up for myself because anything I say goes in one ear out the other.  I’m ignored and the mean things that they’ve said to me lately I will NEVER FORGET!!  After soo many years I’ve become numb to the things they’ve said towards me and criticize me.  Now it hits me and then slides off because I can’t take it anymore and I know I’m a good person.

So yeah those are the things that have been going on with me lately = drama hahaha.  I just try to stay positive and I’m focusing on school so I can get the hell out of here!!!

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About emilykawaii

My passion is makeup, skin care products, and travel. I love learning and exploring different beauty skin care tips and makeup.
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